What is mine is yours

Cust: But if someone else buy this phone, is it mine?
Me: Only if you are extra nice to them 

Each week is too much

Me: If you have 10€ the 1st of the month, and each week you spend 2€ how much money do you have at the end of the month?
Cust: 10!!! (Happy like a kid!)

Honesty at last!

Female Cust: I keep receiving this pictures of naked girls can i stop i or at least ask for them to send me naked guys?

What a change for once from the "i don't know how this happen but is all a scam"!

Let me be a babysitter

Customer enter and take out a receive from a bank (i'm not a bank in case you are asking yourself)
Cust: Why did i find this receive of 15€ in my wallet?
Me: I don't know madam
Cust: But i found it when i enter your shop!

I should start to work as a babysitter..

Of course i know how to fix my problem

Cust: This phone is broken! i try to fix the problem this way (describe a completely out of reality theory of how to fix it) but didn't work. You should replace me the phone.
Me: No sir, the phone is fine, to fix it you just need to click here ( a simple setting in the phone menu)

Phone magically start to work as supposed.

Cust: It's impossible! This is NOT how you fix the phone!
Me: Well i'm sorry but i have reality on my side..

I'm sure... maybe

Cust: i'm billed internet even if i never use it!
Me: Did you check if your phone have internet enabled?
Cust: NO! but I'm sure!
Me: Well maybe you should check it takes 10 seconds..
Cust: NO! i'm sure i don't need to check!

Of course he was wrong and he have internet enabled
(Of course enabled against his will from <insert your favorite conspiracy> )