Free movie!

Cust: I downloaded a free movie but it used 700 megabytes! Why? it was written "FREE" it's unfair! 

Sleeping phone

Cust: You sold me a phone that work only during the evening!

Stealing phonecalls

Husband: No! No! This 10€/month plan is way to expensive for me! I only spend 2-3€ each month!
Wife: Wait! You spend so little because you keep stealing my phone to make phone calls! You make ME spend more money!

Imaginary Husband

Me: What's the name of your husband? (Setting secret question for password recovery)
Cust: I never got married
Me: Ok then we can use..
Cust: No no I changed my mind! Put Ivan

Can i pay with magic?

Cust: Can i have a litte discount? or even better i could give you a free Astrology reading for the new year!

Working is not simple

Cust: I need to put some 10€ on my ipad to use internet
Me: Of course, is it still working internet now? (Be sure she don't went below 0)
Cust: Is a year i have this service
Me: yeah ok so now is still working?
Cust: Does it expire?
Me: No, just want to be sure you will receive everything is working well
Cust: I don't know i'm not good in technology
Me: Do you remember if you can enter in internet?
Cust: No, i don't know i just go on google!

Magic Color

Cust: Can i have a cover that doesn't become blue in time?

At the bar

Conversation overheard at the bar next to me:

Cust: I need to go to the toilet but there is someone inside!!
Owner: You have to wait then
Cust: But i need the toilet NOW i can't wait!
Owner: We are a bar not a public toilet, go somewhere else!

They don't listen!

Working everyday on December is even more pleasant when you have customer like this!

Cust: My Husband phone is not working
Me: What's the Number of your Husband?
Cust: I don't know! (With disappointed voice)
Me: What's the name of your Husband?
Cust: I don't know! (With Very disappointed voice)
Me: You don't know your Husband NAME????
Cust: No i mean i know it but (and continue to talk without listening..)

Please kill me

Lady1: "Last night my very old land lord wake me up at night and ask me if i could kill her, but i say: no! who will pay my bill then?"
Lady2: "Yes plus you would have problem to get the new permission of stay here! no no better leave her complain!"

Sentence overheard from 2 lady talking between themself around my shop..

Sorry i'm already drunk

60 years old female customer enters at 10 am
Cust: Can you please check if I have any messages?
Me: Ok madam but it's pretty easy you just need to press this green icon here.
Cust: I'm sorry but i already had 2 drinks of red wine and i'm already a bit drunk

Psyco power

Cust: The company X stole my money! it make me pay the service even this month even if i don't want it!
Me: But did you inform the company last month you don't want it anymore?
Cust: No! but they should have know it!

The invisible button

Cust: My iPhone volume is low
Me: Press the volume button on the side
Cust: There is no such a button
Me: Of course there is!
Cust: No i look and there is no button! Why don't you believe me?
Me: Apple produce more then 100 million phones a year i doubt it create a single one different JUST for you!

End of the story? of course the button was there..

90 cents

Cust: hello i would like to topup (recharge) my phone for 90 cents!

How to spot someone who want to cheat you

How to spot someone who want to steal a phone for dummies!
Me: How much do you spend a week?
Cust: around 150€ each week
Me: Good, you can have this iPhone with just 90€!
Cust: I don't have all that money, what can i have at 0€?

The always icon

Angry Customer enter with an upset face
Cust: Since i switch company i can't read my email anymore!
Me: May i see how you check your mail?
Cust: As i ALWAYS did it!
Me: But could you please show it to me now?
Cust: yes i press here (Gmail Icon) and insert my address
Me: And what is your address?
Cust: XXXX@Outlook.com
Me: Oh i see the problem you shouldn't click the gmail icon but the Outlook icon
Cust: but why? i ALWAYS used that icon before!

Moral of the story: Doctor House was right: "Everybody Lies"

What money can buy

Cust: Can i buy a ringtone please?
(Customer wants an answering machine)