Saturday 30 November 2013

Always working

Customer around 60 years old.
Me: How long have u been working?
Cust: Since i was a boy!
Me: Can i put 1980 in the loan request?
Cust: are you crazy? no! put 2000!
Me: Didn't you say you work for longer?
Cust: well i was working in south italy! it's another story there!

Friday 29 November 2013

The perfect memory

16:00 (changing password for a customer email address)
Me: Do you want to write down your new password XXX?
Cust: NO! I ALWAYS use it! So i'm sure i will remember it always!

18:00 (Phone ring and i answer)
Cust: What was the password for my mail? I write YYY as usual but it doesn't work what have you done?

Friday 22 November 2013

Miracle never received

Cust: I send a letter to close the service but it's still active
Me: When was the letter received at the company?
Cust: They didn't receive it, but that's not my problem, i have the receive that i sent it! The law say that's that all i need!

Thursday 21 November 2013

How to help who want to help you!

Me: What do you have? Cust: i don't know
Me: Well how much do you spend? Cust: i don't know
Me: When did you put the last time money? Cust: i don't know
Me: How much do you think u will need the phone? Cust: i don't know
Me: How much do you want to spend? Cust: i don't know

Me: Well we have to this plan for X€! Cust: But is MUCH more then i thought!

Thursday 14 November 2013

I love this kind of persons!

Me: To do this work you should pay X€
Customer: But I ask someone and he told me you should do this work for free!
Me: Ask this nice person to come and work for me for free then!

Wednesday 13 November 2013

No Tax for me!

Customer: But why should i pay the taxes? I don't want to!
Me: I think taxes are not something you can decide to pay or not..

Tuesday 12 November 2013

Good day


Today i have no rest!

Customer: Why this number is calling me? and why when i answer i only hear a music? Why don't they answer the phone if they are looking for me?

Jedi Powers


What would you answer to someone who ask you

Customer: Why did someone leave a message on my answering machine?

Even sellers sometime are strange..

He: Hello I'm an agent and we sell X (Showing an horrible photocopied catalog)
Me: Do you have a website where i can see a catalog?
He: I don't know, call me later and I will tell you
Me: Where do you send it from?
He searches on his own business card to know the city where his own office is located!
Me: How much does the delivery cost?
He: I don't know i guess 12€.
Me: Well thank you very much for your time i will call you when i need something!

Friday 8 November 2013

Randomness

Customer: Why is it Diesel if my Car is normal Gas?
(We sell electronic device here)

After a long inquiry i understand that the customer want to know how to change a setting of a strange application i never heard of!

Thursday 7 November 2013

Very very very much

Customer: I receive a bill with a VERY VERY VERY high extra amount! i never receive such a huge amount before!
Me: How much?
Customer: 10€! (normal bill was around 30€ s/he receive 40€ for 2 month service)
Me: Can i see your bill to understand why?
Customer: No, i have it in Sicily, but can you please tell me what is written in it?
Me: Unless i can teleport myself to Sicily i guess i can't.

Tuesday 5 November 2013

The evil seller


Imagine this situation:

Customer: I have been robbed at XYZ (competitor place)
Me: Why?
Customer: i got service X for Y€!
Me: Did they do it without your consent?
Customer: No, they asked me, and I said yes!
But then i went home and realize the girl there shouldn't have asked me at all! Why? Why is she asking me to buy a service i didn't ask in the first place?

What should I answer?
  1. You are right is all a giant scam! (after all is a competitor)
  2. Well she have the right to sell, is a place where they sell things after all! Is your right to say no.
  3. Be creative and suggest me a line for the next customer like this (post a comment)

Time

Customer: I bought this yesterday and it doesn't work.
Me: Yes i told you it would need 48 hours to activate.
Customer: I waited more then 48 hous!
Me: I doubt it!